Yakuza Kiwami 3 releases on storefronts later this week, and all the way from its announcement four months ago to this present moment it has been a bitter pill to swallow. If you know me, you know I have loved this series in spite of itself sometimes. In the past, silly plot contrivances, reheated game play mechanics, and cut corners were amusing things to discuss with others as forgivable blemishes adorning an experience seemingly crafted from passionate people, people who loved what they were able to make. I personally got into the series with Yakuza 4 in late 2012 at one of the lowest points in my life, and, silly as it is to say, I connected with it and it genuinely kept me going. I had an odd connection with the series for a few years after. I got in the door right as it began to wane here in the States…looking at my Trophy data, I didn’t even play a lot of Yakuza 5 until Yakuza 6 was imminent…but from that point onward my passion began to extend to the series as a whole instead of mostly just for the 4th entry. It was an easy series to rally behind, an underdog from a game company that had its ups and downs but still had something there worth championing.

Still. There is always a danger in loving a commercial product too much, and something becoming “too mainstream” and losing its heart is a tale as old as time. It’s a risk we inherently understand, even if only subconsciously, when letting something from a corporation come too close to our heart. For the uninitiated, I’ll just point to a change.org petition concerning Teruyuki Kagawa’s inclusion in this game as I don’t find it fruitful to summarize the details here myself. There’s more information and even photos of an incident involving a hostess online, with at least one victim alleging that they had yet to receive any apology or acknowledgement from him. While typing this out, I found another article from that time with details that go a bit farther than I’ve seen most be aware of.

In no public statement or action of his did I sense much real remorse for what he did. Nothing could truly make it “right”, but sometimes a sincere display of atonement can at least be a start. Acting in lead roles in major productions is the kind of profession that can grant one a lot of power and access, that from my perspective, he hasn’t shown that he can be trusted with. Perhaps time will show that it was just a set of terribly drunken choices and that he is truly a remorseful individual. I’ll hope that’s the case.

All I can really say, however, is that from where I’m sitting…this guy gets to sit pretty and be one of the main marketing points for a new release in one of my favorite things ever. In a series that has often had its lead beat up characters for mistreatment of women. In a series that has had contests where actual hostesses were entering to be scanned into the games in sympathetic or endearing roles, there’s now a guy who drunkenly crossed boundaries in that exact environment. Yakuza hasn’t had a perfect track record of treating women flawlessly, I want to note…the hostess stuff in this series especially can be a coin flip of genuinely endearing or borderline uncomfortable. However, it was at least usually consistent that if a creep was harassing someone, they got their block knocked off. All this to say, it has been jarring to see Kagawa so proudly featured.

Even more jarring has been the silence from SEGA and the developers around the elephant in the room. If you’re going to bring someone like a Kagawa on, questioning his very recent behavior and the decision to cast him regardless is a very fair position for fans to take. It’d be one thing to release a statement saying they believe in his remorse concerning his actions and that they carefully considered it when casting him. No doubt that would still be uncomfortable for many, and they’d be well within their right to feel that way. It would still be a more respectable move on SEGA’s part than silence, however, as this instead leaves room for all of us to assume much worse…that they just don’t really care or see a problem here. That they expect fans to go right along with this, swallow their discontent, and still purchase their product anyway. Perhaps that isn’t how a majority of the team feels, but it’s certainly the conclusion that management has enabled their customers and fan base to make.

It isn’t something I’ve ever wanted to talk about on the internet, but I myself have been a victim. I don’t know how to articulate that it wasn’t as extreme a case as one could imagine…it is not something I need sympathy for at this point in my life and I do not want to be talked to about it or offered any condolences with regard to it. What I basically want to convey is that it wasn’t as horrible as some others have had it. At the same time, though, it was something that affected me and aspects of my personal life for years after. I didn’t know how to properly accept and move past it for most of my adult life. It’s only within the last year or so that I began to find ways to process what it had done to me. Ways to forgive that individual and how to forgive myself for ways it made me approach others, and also for the things it cost me as a result of my freeze surrounding it. Grappling with both letting myself be the person it happened to while also being overly complacent in healing from it was a miserable thing to analyze. My hurt hurt others as it manifested in my inability to trust, connect, and feel safety in deeper relationships. My wound only amplified anxiety and fear, unable to offer the love that some tried to show me. I had to apologize for the way I showed up and I still carry that guilt. I’m hoping to share just enough to convey that when this happens, these aren’t just isolated, terrible incidents that affect that one period of time. The effects ripple through various other areas of life over long stretches of time. So, seeing Yakuza Kiwami 3 announced and then within the hour finding out about this situation was difficult. Every day after was a chance to see them hear the push back and make even a mild attempt to try to make things right, and that chance was never taken. I don’t expect rigid perfection from human beings, but I don’t feel it’s unreasonable to expect some compassion either.

On top of it all, a small amount of very loud people have been emboldened by this silence. Some fans, or at least those inserting themselves into the community to take advantage of the latest gaming discourse, have downplayed this criticism and even mocked those who have opened up about being a victim in explaining why this makes them uncomfortable. Broadly, the opinions and words of those who attacked people brave enough to speak up do not matter. However, it does matter in that this vulnerability provided a direct line for some to speak harmfully to victims. To be directly reductive of their experience and perspective. It’s part of why I didn’t say any of this in public spaces before, and is why I hate to be doing it now. Why put a “kick me” sign on my back to try to plead with a company that clearly wasn’t going to listen to or advocate for those in positions like mine…? No one should have to put themselves out there for that, and those who had the courage to speak up regardless were offered nothing in return but potential abuse online. Seeing that play out told me that it was best to just keep my mouth shut. I’m fortunate to have people who care about what I think, but in no way would my voice turn the tide and make anything change. So, I just watched from the sidelines with disappointment.

It’s had me examining my fandom for this series a lot. My memories don’t feel tainted per se, nothing so outright dramatic at this moment, but it’s difficult to imagine unabashedly and enthusiastically championing this series again. There are still ways I want to express what it has meant to me in other avenues, ones that might feel a bit awkward after this writing, but there won’t be a moment where this stretch of time isn’t on my mind in the future when someone expresses interest in getting into Yakuza. I’ll always have this pause now. It’s been a continual chain of contemplation as these months have passed.

For example, something morbidly fascinating has been to look within myself and really examine how solid my conviction surrounding this is. When does the insult and disappointment ultimately bow down to my passion for the series? Where is my line? Is it enough to buy Yakuza Kiwami 3 used, not directly giving my money to SEGA while still providing engagement analytics within that pivotal first-year period? Do I find it “okay” to play it after a long enough stretch of time to where the suits at SEGA have presumably moved their focus to the next project? Do I play any title in this series going forward? Do I even give it a lick of attention again with my voice on the internet? Why did they (SEGA, RGG leaders, whoever) feel it was appropriate to put their customers and fans in such a position to even have to raise these questions within themselves? Did they ever sit and really contemplate scenarios like mine? Did they do that and then decide that enough of us would pony up anyway to outweigh it…? When you hurt others, you have to ask yourself some hard questions as you move forward. I have no way of knowing if they’ve done any introspection.

I don’t know where I’ll land, though I suppose I have an inkling. I’ll always have some curiosity about where the series is going. There’s a decent chance that I will eventually give in and play Yakuza Kiwami 3 at some point, just to know. To really size it up given what reviews have said this week, and to also see if this actor’s performance was truly worth all of this (spoilers, we know it’s not). I suppose this conviction of mine isn’t so strong that I can resist these curiosities and temptations. Perhaps I’ll simply feel disappointment for not honoring these bad gut feelings, for not loving myself and instead giving in when it seems so clear.

I suppose I then move along to the question of forgiveness as I try to rationalize that potential inevitability within myself. It is on RGG for casting this man and standing by him without offering any statement or sympathy since. In a way, that I want to stress is not abdicating blame for RGG, it is also on me for attaching myself so much to a commercial product. Perhaps I grew too close to it if I can feel such disappointment in their decision, instead of viewing it through the nihilistic yet functional lens of “well, of course they eventually let you down, that’s capitalism.” This is not an uncommon occurrence in the entertainment industry. Even the original actor for the character Kagawa is portraying has his own personal life that I kinda hated reading about, it’s just terrible for its own reasons. They can’t be compared, only individually viewed as upsetting. It’s not even that the portrayed character in question is some extraordinary one we all love, making this even more of a grave injustice, it’s more just about the values on display here.

Still, when should someone who is as attached as me forgive in a situation like this? Should they forgive it at all? I didn’t love the execution of Ichiban’s forgiveness stint in Infinite Wealth, but I admired the idea of it for him regardless. Is this casting not a betrayal of RGG’s values, then, but instead them doubling down on this idea of forgiving? I’ll never look Kagawa in the eye and be able to discern if he should be forgiven. His victims don’t seem to have been afforded that chance either. I have no personal connection to anyone who develops these games, so who is there to really forgive even if I do offer it? Does that truly mean anything? Or is that merely a hollow token to offer myself to feel better about partaking again down the road? These are questions I have yet to find a satisfying answer to, instead, they lead to more looping as I perhaps avoid confronting an uncomfortable truth. Pragmatically, it would be easiest to exit this series and disengage entirely even if it doesn’t resolve what I feel inside.

We walk a fine line when we experience entertainment products. The grounded advice is to always view anything from a corporation through that capitalistic lens, to keep it at arms length and always be prepared for it to let us down. This is the “smart” option, even if it operates from a brace for pain. How can we be surprised by that pain if we’re always on guard for it? It isn’t as free and open, but it is more logically sound when situations like this are on the front of our mind. On the other hand, we all have art that touches us more deeply and reaches us at more vulnerable points in our lives.

It’s a bit silly to call any Yakuza game “art” on the surface, but ultimately, these are still products that many people of talent pour a lot of their heart and time into. Just because these games are released on a yearly schedule that seems like it can’t be maintained anymore does not erase that many human beings tend to it for months and months of their lives. It does not mean that individuals contributing to the final product don’t get wins, getting to put in things they care about and are excited to share with others. Disagreements that they must take home and stew over before coming in with a fresh mind to find solutions. These are not things I remain conscious of to look past a final product, but to instead more fully consider its context. Yakuza 4 is a complicated game that many in the fan base find to be mediocre at best, but I found it at the perfect time to connect with it and love it on a personal level. One that took it beyond “product” to something I have a genuine attachment to. No part of me tried to stay consciously distant from it so that I wouldn’t fall under its spell.

Yakuza 4, then, gets to be a true knife twist in this examination of self I’ve been going through. The character Kagawa has taken on returns in more of a sympathetic role than the antagonistic one portrayed in 3. What I’m really pointing to here is that a Yakuza Kiwami 4 seems unavoidable. Some have speculated that the silence around Kagawa’s casting is because the ink is already dry on a contract to bring him back for that remake if it were to happen. Of course you’d want to lock the actor in for the character’s other role as well, and you then don’t want to disparage that actor by talking about reactions to their scandal. To me, that seems to be quite a reasonable explanation…for a decision they just didn’t have to make in the first place.

And like, this experience has sucked, but it was for Yakuza 3. It deserves as much respect as any other entry, and it deserves a better remake than it’s seemingly gotten here (if we HAVE to remake all of these games), but it isn’t one I have as much personal attachment to. Yakuza 4…that’s the game that was there for me. That’s the one that helped me escape from a place of wanting to give up to earnestly looking for reasons to continue instead. I completed the story, went on in life for a bit, had the unwanted experience I touched on earlier, and then turned to it again for comfort and 100% completed it.

So when I say I dread the idea of Kagawa waltzing into Yakuza 4, it’s because it’s an experience that became tied to that event for me. It comforted me for two very separate experiences in that original period, and if a remake of it comes to pass with this actor, then that dissonance between the role the game played for me and the role that man will get to play within its world is something I just don’t even want to think about. Judging by the quality of Kiwami 3, I can’t even find comfort in expecting them to at least do justice to the rest of the game. There’s a lot in 4 that’s ripe for improvement, and I just can’t trust that it will receive the polish it needs. Which…feels trite to even sit and contemplate given everything else I’ve said here. As a fan I guess I still find myself wanting to think about those more rote, benign details instead because they’re so much more palatable to work through in comparison. I don’t want a laundry list of reasons to be even more disappointed in that potential retread of 4 than there is already going to be. Forecast isn’t looking optimistic, though.

An unintended analogy of cosmic proportion, then, is how Yakuza 3 ends. I don’t know if Kiwami 3 has adjusted this, but regardless. The original game ends with the character Kagawa portrays, Hamazaki, approaching Kiryu in Kamurocho, dejectedly declaring that he has nothing left. Kiryu poignantly offers him an olive branch, striking that balance of naively optimistic and inspiring he achieves when he’s at his best. Saying if Hamazaki is truly at a point of being ready to die, then he has nothing to lose by continuing to live. That he should try to redeem himself, with Kiryu even personally offering to lend him a hand in spite of Hamazaki trying to take everything from him. Hamazaki drives a knife into Kiryu’s stomach, shouting at him to not patronize him with shit about starting fresh. In this moment, it’s impossible for him to even consider being anyone other than the thoroughly wounded, twisted man he is. He blames Kiryu for his circumstances, looking a genuine and unconditional offer to help in the eye and spitting on it. He tells Kiryu that his ideals will mean nothing when death approaches. As far as Yakuza 3’s story is concerned, he is still battling his demons and has acted out instead of examining himself.

Yakuza Kiwami 3, then, is a misguided display from a company that doesn’t seem to want to go inward, instead acting on bullish certainty that people will grin and bear whatever they’re offering. Fans have pleaded. They’ve wanted to believe in better outcomes. And yet. There’s seemingly not an inch to be budged. No ground to cede here. Decision after decision piling on not only with this game, but with recent entries and business choices surrounding them as well. All we can witness is an unabashed, reckless, entirely preventable plunge toward doing what it feels it has to do. Another twist of the knife offering the thousandth cut to those who only wanted to see it improve.